The New Paradigm

 
 

And so we begin

A Place To Start

No parent is prepared for the death of their child. It's virtually impossible to conceive of and even harder to talk about. More than likely, it never crossed your mind and you never saw it coming. We prepare for the lives of our children from before their births until we send them out into the world. Resources abound on everything from birthing choices to selecting the right college when the time comes. Understandably, fewer resources exist for dealing with the death of your child. This is not something we talk about casually. In fact, most parents assume it's something they will never have to face, and thankfully, most parents won't have to. Parents die before their children. Usually. But some of us will face this devastation and when we do, we may find ourselves untethered from all we thought we knew. How do we live with such a loss? How do we even get through the day?

If you have suffered the loss of a child, please read on. This site was written as a response to my experiences after the loss of my son. It is intended to be a forum where grieving parents are encouraged to give voice to their journey, but my hope is that it will also provide immediate comfort, insight, and guidance. The stories will encourage you to keep your heart open and stay in touch with your emotions. We'll look at many of the issues that surround loss and grieving, not with the intention to direct your healing, but rather to provide a framework upon which you can build your own personal recovery. It is a long and arduous journey, and our goal is to support you as you try to put your life back together in a world that no longer includes the presence of your child.  Along the path you will be offered shelter for your spirit and food for your soul, you will receive guidance from people who have walked before you, and you will have the company of people who walk with you now. Somewhere on this path you will begin to heal. Please consider this site as your own; a place where you will be embraced by a community of kindred souls, a place to find resources, inspiration and advice, a place where you can tell your story and know you are being heard, and most importantly, a place of hope and healing. These words are only the beginning, a jumping-off point for the many voices who have so much to share. The more voices we hear from, the more potential there is for healing.

Early on it may take all you've got just to keep breathing. Hold on and and let some time pass. Take a breath, then take another breath. Repeat. When you are ready, join us on the Grieving Path.


 

The site is divided into sections offering progressive steps that will help you navigate the aftermath of your loss. Early sections are short and easy to read, demanding nothing from you but a few minutes of your day. First offered are words of timeless wisdom that can breathe light into your darkness. Next you will find a list of books and guided meditations that are designed to bring you hope and inspiration. 

 

 

We will raise awareness about the many pitfalls that you might find yourself in after the loss of your child. These include; how your loss affects your marriage, its affect on the other children in your family, the toll it can take on your health-both mental and physical, how to get thru the first long year, how to celebrate holidays in the midst of profound new grief, how to deal with hurt and regret, as well as how to survive the always difficult conversations that take place when people unaware of your loss ask casual questions that have no casual answers.

Further on you are guided to identify your thoughts and feeling with just a few words in a simple writing exercise. Later on, upon reflection, as your thoughts and feelings evolve, you will have tangible evidence of your healing, evidence that grief indeed changes and thankfully, eventually softens. We will also look at how working with a therapist can be a saving grace for you and your family, how meditation can provide a quiet place to heal, and how keeping a journal can help bring you clarity.

We will consider how to honor your child’s memory, and how to meet the challenge of staying connected to your life while keeping your heart open.

The last section is reserved for your story.  Should you decide to share it with other parents on the grieving path, know it will be healing not only for you, but also for each person bearing witness  to it. 

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Surviving the Challenges of the First Year:

 
 

Contact:

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